How do i get support?

You sound like a person lost in confusion. Your therapist should be a big help to you but you need a friend. Not a big group of friends. Just one will do. It could be a girl or boy but someone who you can share your wants wishes fears with and they with you . Someone you feel safe with. Someone that you will let through the security wall you have built around yourself. In life, you will find you know may many people but you can count your friends on one hand. Look for this special person and be a friend to her or him. r